Under One Roof: Why More Adult Children Are Living With Their Ageing Parents

In an ever-evolving Singapore, where an increasing number of elderly people are living without their children, the Lau family stands out. Describing herself as “very content,” 48-year-old small business owner, Ms Megan Lau, has made the conscious decision to continue residing with her elderly parents. 

According to the Singapore Department of Statistics, only 8,800 elderly lived with their spouse and at least one child in 2010, increasing exponentially to 19,700 in 2024. With 1 in 4 Singaporeans expected to be aged 65 and above by 2030, this trend is projected to grow.

Ms Lau, who is the only single child in a family of 5 siblings, largely attributes her decision to remain in her family home to the fact that she is not married.  Additionally, she agrees that cultural stereotypes play a part. “It is also because of my family’s traditional views. Since I am the only unmarried one, my family would like me to stay in our original house.”

Furthermore, the rising cost of living in Singapore is another major factor she takes into consideration. Living in a large landed terrace with her parents and a domestic helper, Ms Lau says, “It is definitely more cost-efficient to live with my parents. Singapore is so expensive now, so I would rather stay in my family home, where I also have a helper, and my house is big.”

Professor Thang Leng Leng, a socio-cultural anthropologist who researches ageing and intergenerational relationships, echoes Ms Lau’s sentiments, explaining, “The housing prices in Singapore are also very expensive these days, so more people are staying with their parents to save costs.”

However, this living arrangement also comes with its downsides. “I’m not able to feel a sense of ownership,” she commented. Since this is her familial home where she grew up, “I feel a bit of regret that I don’t live in my own house, where I can do my own decorations.”

Professor Thang also noted other significant trade-offs in this arrangement, stating, “One of the key challenges would definitely be navigating the generational gap and household dynamics.” 

According to a commentary article by Channel News Asia, a 2022 study published that “receiving financial support and assistance with housework from family members has the potential to reduce older adults’ sense of being in control of their lives.”

On the contrary, Ms Lau’s mother, Mdm Yeo, has a differing opinion from this study. Conversing in Mandarin, she says, “I feel more of a sense of reassurance than a burden. It’s nice knowing I have someone at home who can take care of me.”

Predicting the trajectory of this trend, Professor Thang commented: “As Singapore ages, and more families face the realities of eldercare, we’ll likely see co-residence and home-based care become even more mainstream.”

“I am more appreciative of my parents’ presence. I’m also more involved in their day-to-day activities. I wouldn’t live with regret even after they’re gone, because at least I spent time with them.” Ms Lau added.