"They moved on. I stayed home."
As Singaporean women celebrate progress and freedom in the labour force, those that left due to caregiving duties are reminded that the decision was never actually theirs.
After graduating with a diploma in Business from ITE College Central in 2007, Nikmatul Nurhaini began her career as a customer service agent. She remained in the role after marrying her husband, and welcomed their first child at age 27.
“After my second, it just got busier,” she said. By her early 30s, the demands of caring for her children made it harder to continue working. That was the turning point for when Nikmatul stepped away from the labour force.
“I didn't really want to stop working, but it felt like there was no other choice,” recounts Nikmatul.
The high cost of childcare further emphasised the issue, making the possibility of returning to work at the time improbable. “If I go back to work, my pay will only go to childcare. Then what's the point?”, she recalled.
Nikmatul’s situation reflects that of many Singaporean women in their early 30s who find themselves stuck between their professional lives and familial obligations.
According to data from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), 16,800 female residents aged 30-34 were out of the labour force in 2019 with caregiving as one of the key reasons. Additionally, a 2022 MOM report, analysed by Channel News Asia, revealed that over 80,000 women were out of the workforce specifically because they had to take care of their families.
In an interview with SilverStreak, a lifestyle publication, CEO of Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO), Koh Yan Ping, shared that women often carry the weight of family duty, which can affect their ability to stay, or later return, to the workforce.
She told SilverStreak: “These entrenched notions result in an unequal burden of caregiving between men and women; women often take time out of work, or even leave the workforce, due to these responsibilities.”
When Nikmatul returned to work in 2021 after hiring a helper, she was among the 154,400 women of her age group in the labour force that year. It was an increase from 130,600 the previous year. Today, she proudly holds a position as an international operations specialist, but balancing her career with parenting still remains tough.
“Sometimes companies don't understand how things can be with kids. Like when they fall sick and you need to take leave at the last minute, they think you're not committed,” she said.
To support working parents, Singapore introduced the Tripartite Guidelines on Flexible Work Arrangement Requests (TG-FWAR) in April 2024. The initiative ensures employers seriously regard requests for flexible hours or wanting to work from home, helping caregivers stay, or rejoin the labour force.
Nikmatul quotes compassion and understanding as things she hopes to see more toward women like her in the labour force. As Singapore shifts towards flexible work norms and reducing the unequal responsibility of mothers, she hopes that these changes will truly ease the burdens on women who were once in her shoes.