Why are so many Singaporeans aged 40-49 staying single: Career, Choice or pure Circumstance
More Singaporeans aged 40-49 are staying single, embracing independence and redefining what it means to live a fulfilling life beyond marriage.
For men like Vijayan Suppiah and women like Shaniece Tay, being single at this age is not just a matter of circumstance, but a conscious choice reflecting changing societal norms and personal priorities.
Vijayan Suppiah, 46, is a managing director who has been single for over a decade. Early in his career, the demands of his job often took priority over his personal life. “In my 30s, I was heavily focused on building my career,” he shares. “Over time, I became comfortable with being independent. I didn’t actively avoid relationships, but I didn’t prioritise them either.” For Vijayan, being single wasn’t just a result of circumstance but an evolving choice shaped by his desire for personal growth and fulfilment.
For Shaniece Tay, a 43-year-old, being single is a decision shaped by both choice and circumstance. She became accustomed to her single lifestyle after being out of a relationship for five years.
Over the past two decades, the number of single men and women aged 40-49 has steadily risen. According to the Department of Statistics Singapore, in 2000, there were 36,100 single men. By 2022, that number has climbed to 46,900, reflecting a significant rise in singlehood among men.
Women in the same age group have seen an even sharper increase, with their numbers rising from 36,600 in 2000 to 56,900 in 2022.
Vijayan acknowledges that dating in his 40s comes with unique challenges. “The dating pool is smaller,” he explains. “Many people are either married, divorced with kids, or carry emotional baggage. Compatibility in values and lifestyle becomes more important and more difficult to find.”
For women in their 40s, the experience is often nuanced. Shaniece Tay, a 43-year-old female, says that while stigma persists globally, Singapore’s social landscape is gradually shifting. She admits dating at this age presents its own hurdles. “Many single men our age either aren’t seeking long-term commitment or are divorced,” she says, adding that some people unfairly assume single women in their 40s have “elevated expectations” or personality issues.
On the other hand, Vijayan feels that there is not as much stigma anymore, and it personally does not affect him. “I think society is slowly shifting, more people are understanding that being single is not necessarily a negative thing, especially when it's a conscious decision and one is fulfilled in other aspects of life.”
Still, both men and women find value in their independence. “Being single has given me a greater sense of freedom and control,” says Shaniece. Vijayan agrees: “Personal freedom, mental peace, and the ability to make decisions independently are things I’ve grown to value deeply.”
Many still feel open to the idea of a relationship and don’t completely reject it. Shaniece and Vijayan both echo the same view that when the time is right, they are open to long-term commitment and even marriage.